A Mothers Letter to Santa.

I got an e-mail from a friend of mine who says she couldn't help but send it along because it seems so much like me. I thought I would share it with everyone because it is friggin hilarious!


Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more times than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a tree on the school playground.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I will find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, shich I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the 7th month of my last pregnancy. If your hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of the tibetan monks chanting "don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable?

It would clear my conscience immensley. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.

Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch a cold. Help your self to coookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours always, Mom...!

P.S. one more thing... you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enoiugh to believe in santa for many years to come.

Almost Christmas!

Well it is almost Christmas around these parts. We have our tree finally up and decorated. It only took us two try's this year! The first one we got looked absolutely wonderful out in the bush in the almost dark at three thirty sky! We cut it down and brought it home, got it in the stand and let it sit overnight to dry off and perk up a little. The next night I put the lights and about 12 ornaments on it. Chris came home from work and informed me that no matter how many lights or balls we hung on this thing it was FUGLY!!! Even our neighbour commented about the lack of pizazzz in the tree. So the next day we went out looking again - this time it was a bit lighter (but not much) and we were a little more selective of the one we chose! We brought it home, removed the lights and balls from the other one and replaced it with the one we have now - it looks much better by the way. The only problem now is the tree is up and decorated and there are two half strings of lights that have gone out and we can't figure out why! Stupid lights! So the discussion this morning was - do we take all the ornaments off and replace the lights and the tree? or do we just grin and bare it and replace the lights next year. We looked at the tree and at eachother and decided next year would be the perfect time to replace the lights (same thing we said two years ago when the same thing happened!). Anyway the presents are all wrapped and under the tree - and surprisingly the kids have left everything alone! We got the parcels from my sister in law yesterday. Dani asked who one of them was for and I told her it was for Zach. So she called him over and said "this one is for you Zach - you want to touch it - you can pet it ok - but you can't open it yet you have to wait for Christmas". Those two make me laugh! All our christmas stuff got on the bus at a half decent time this year and I actually got the cards out before christmas! Now if they get to where they are going before christmas is another story! Tomorrow we are going to have a few friends over for some holiday cheer and a games night. On the 24th my plan is to make the apple pie and the buns for christmas dinner. We are going to have 3 other people over for dinner on christmas. This will be the first christmas dinner up here that we haven't had more than 10 people over. I'm pretty sure its going to take the kids all day to open their gifts. We bought them a huge kitchen play set - now I am looking around trying to figure out where the hell I'm going to put this thing! Its MASSIVE!!!! The catalogue didn't have any measurements so I figured it wasn't going to be too big, boy was I wrong! I had to get our neighbour to drive our little pick up truck down to sears to get it cause it wouldn't fit in the back of our pathfinder! I think I am going to do a bit of Christmas baking tomorrow - have something to snack on for tomorrow night.

On the pregnancy front - only 7 1/2 more weeks! I am getting nice and plump now. Looking like I swallowed the turkey whole! Doc says I am measuring around 32 inches from the top of my belly to the bottom of my belly. Dani is very interested in helping at all my appointments - she loves to turn the heart monitor off and on for the doc. When we are home she brings out her play stethoscope and checks my blood pressure and listens to my belly. Then she wants me to check hers. Zach still doesn't have much interest - he knows that there is a baby in there and that his mommy's lap is getting smaller and smaller. I am going to relax in the tub before bed - night all.

Ten Weeks Till D Day!!!

I am now 30 weeks pregnant!!!! YAY!!! Only ten more weeks till my due date and as anybody who has had kids knows that doesn't really mean a thing! I could have this baby in 8 weeks or in 12 weeks and it would be considered a normal term pregnancy. I'm hoping for it to be on time or a little bit (maybe a week) early! Dani was a week early and weighed in at a hefty 8 pounds 3 ounces, Zach was three days late and and was a whopping 8 pounds 9 ounces. It may not seem very big to some people but for me it was big enough! I finally got word today that our new kitchen table and chairs are in. I am chomping at the bit to get them so instead of waiting till we go to town and renting a u-haul we are having a freight company bring them down to us tomorrow! I will have to post a picture once we get it all set up. Christmas is just around the bend - I am already sick of christmas carols! We are just going to be sticking around here for christmas - Chris has to work and I'm too far along to go anywhere nice. We will probably have a few people over for dinner (and be able to accomodate them!). Anyway off to finish rearranging furniture.